Breaking the Cycle of Self-Sabotage - How to Stay Consistent with Your Goals
- kellievarlet
- Apr 17
- 3 min read
We’ve all experienced it—setting goals full of enthusiasm, only to watch that motivation fade as we slip back into old habits. Whether it’s skipping workouts, giving in to unhealthy cravings, or procrastinating on self-care, self-sabotage can feel like an invisible force working against us. But here’s the truth: you have the power to break free.
Understanding self-sabotage and learning how to overcome it is a game-changer for your health, fitness, and overall wellbeing. Let’s dive into why it happens and, more importantly, how to stop it.
What is Self-Sabotage?
Self-sabotage is when your behaviours or thought patterns interfere with your own goals. It’s the voice that whispers, “You’ve earned that extra dessert,” or convinces you to skip your morning walk because you’re “too tired.” It’s not a lack of willpower—it’s often tied to emotions like fear, doubt, and perfectionism that hold you back from progress.
Why Do We Sabotage Ourselves?
Fear of Failure
If you’ve failed to meet goals before, you might avoid giving your all to protect yourself from disappointment.
Fear of Success
Success can be intimidating. Sometimes, we sabotage ourselves to return to familiar ground where we feel safe.
Negative Self-Talk
Harsh inner dialogue leads to guilt and shame, making it harder to bounce back after setbacks.
Perfectionism
Believing you must do everything perfectly leads to an all-or-nothing mindset. When things don’t go perfectly, self-sabotage steps in.
How to Overcome Self-Sabotage
1. Acknowledge Your Patterns
You can’t change what you don’t recognise. Pay attention to when and why self-sabotage creeps in.
Reflect:
What situations trigger self-sabotage?
How do I feel when I stray from my goals?
Writing down your observations in a journal can help you spot recurring patterns and emotional triggers.
2. Reframe Negative Thoughts
Negative self-talk feeds self-sabotage. The good news? You can flip the script.
Try These Reframes:
Instead of “I always mess up,” say “I am learning, and each setback is part of my growth.”
Replace “I’ll never succeed” with “I’m building momentum, one step at a time.”
Positive thoughts aren’t about ignoring struggles—they’re about shifting your focus to solutions instead of problems.
3. Set Realistic Goals
When goals feel too big, they can overwhelm and paralyse you. Break them into bite-sized steps that feel manageable.
Example:
Instead of “I need to lose 10kg,” focus on “I’ll lose 1kg at a time by adding more veggies to my meals and increasing my movement.”
Each small victory builds confidence and momentum.
4. Create a Plan for Challenges
Challenges are inevitable, but they don’t have to derail your progress. Planning ahead can prevent setbacks from turning into long-term obstacles.
Try These Strategies:
For Cravings: Keep healthy snacks like nuts, fruits, or yoghurt on hand.
For Exercise: Schedule workouts as non-negotiable appointments.
For Setbacks: If you miss a day, remind yourself it’s okay—just pick back up the next day.
5. Build a Support System
You don’t have to do this alone. Surrounding yourself with supportive people who encourage and hold you accountable can make a huge difference.
Consider:
Partnering with a workout buddy.
Joining an online community or fitness group.
Working with a coach who can help you stay focused.
6. Reward Your Progress
Celebrate your milestones—big and small. Rewards reinforce positive behaviour and motivate you to keep going.
Examples of Non-Food Rewards:
A new workout outfit or pair of running shoes.
A relaxing massage or spa day.
Time off to enjoy your favourite hobby.
7. Focus on Your “Why”
When motivation wanes, reconnect with the deeper reason you set your goal in the first place.
Ask Yourself:
Why do I want to achieve this goal?
How will this benefit my health, relationships, or overall life?
Write your answers somewhere visible as a daily reminder. Whether it’s improving your energy to keep up with your kids or regaining confidence in your body, keeping your “why” front and centre can fuel your determination.
Remember: Progress Over Perfection
You don’t need to be perfect to succeed—you just need to be consistent. Self-sabotage thrives on guilt and all-or-nothing thinking. Instead, embrace progress as a journey filled with ups and downs. Each day you show up, you’re getting closer to the life you want.
Ready to Take Control of Your Journey?
If self-sabotage has been holding you back, let’s work together to create a plan that helps you stay consistent, motivated, and empowered.
🌟 Book your Free 30-Minute Coaching Call and start building habits that stick. You’re stronger than you think, and I’m here to support you every step of the way!
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